Oct. 2019 ♦ Ill-Fated Telecasts

It’s been more than a year since I’ve posted here and the website has been in neglect. So, imagine my delight and chagrin when I discovered it’s taken on a life of its own. While I’ve been off studying my navel, all you followers and acolytes have been patiently trying to get my attention. More than 1,400 messages have come in to the site, many of a time-sensitive nature. At this point it’s impossible to respond to each one individually, so I’ll just address a few of the more representative questions and comments in this blog post. Hopefully, this will satisfy!

“I must say – your website is very impressive.”

Thanks so much for noticing! I worked impressively to make it very.

“Hey Complimentary front-page news!”

This is great! Can you send me a copy? Wait a minute. Do you mean it’s front page news that’s free, or is it front page news that describes my finer qualities? Please clarify.

 “Congratulations! You won the iPhone X”

“You almost won a New iPhone”

Hey, you suck. Way to rub it in, fella. But…if I follow the link now do I still have a chance?

“Sexy Girls fur die Nacht in Deiner Stadt”

I’m sorry but I don’t speak German. I can kind of piece it together though. I think you’re saying something covered in fur died last night in the diner across the street. That makes sense, but what is the English translation for the German phrase “Sexy Girls”? I tried checking translators but they came up empty and now I’m getting a bunch of creepy e-mails.

“dating site lots of fish”

Good for you. I’m, uh, not interested though.

“How to Make $30000 FAST”

This is the first ever offer to publish my novel! AWESOME!!! Please send me more links to follow. All the other ones you sent keep getting blocked by my Norton. I can disable that if necessary; just let me know.

“I’m 23. I have $3000. How can I best use it to make more money”

I suggest spending it all at Kohls. When you check out, they will tell you that you just saved about $6,000, so you’ll have tripled your initial investment! And you’ll get some Kohls Cash for your next visit. Super Sweet!

“Hey Passable tidings! a ok offers Decent click on the component under to mitigate”

Hey, Passable Tidings to you too! That’s very decent of you, but nobody clicks on my component under even if it IS to mitigate.

“Look what we be experiencing on the side of you! delightfully oblation”

For those of you who aren’t up on your Webster, an oblation is basically a religious offering to a god. Given the context, I’m kind of thinking this was sent by a colony of microbes, possibly living in my armpit. I will never bathe again. Period.

“Hi Virtuous hearsay ! an engrossing contribute Are you in?”

Damn straight I am, and thank you for your engrossing contribution! In fact, I’m so delighted to be referred to as “Virtuous Hearsay” that I am hereby renaming this blog to that very phrase (for now anyway – we’ll see if it sticks).

“Hi, I know you hate to receive this email, my sincere apology”

Hopefully you, reader don’t feel the same way about this blog! This is a relaunch and future posts will run wider and farther than my original concept. I hope you’ll stick with it, pass it along, and enjoy whatever is to come.

One final thought for you to ponder:

“What do you think about it? This person is selling the secret of eternal youth.”

Maybe, just maybe…but you won’t know if it’s true unless you keep following!